Loaded down with blessings

Life is a whirlwind right now. In the past, I would have freaked out by now. TOO BUSY! MUST STOP! JUST CAN'T DO ANYMORE! But somehow at  the end of each day, I turn to Micheal and say something along the lines of, "I can't believe I'm still going." School takes a large chunk of our day, and cleaning up afterwards. Meals are constant along with the driving to and fro for sports practices and games. Trips have been planned and gone on. Relationships are being formed and deepened. 

It's all absolutely great. I love my life. I love this stage. I love the crazy. 

I have not always been able to say that and maybe I won't be singing this same tune in 3 months time.
 But for now, I will enjoy the ride and choose joy and thankfulness. 

You see, I have loved my time at home. The quiet of our days. The beautiful and steady routine. It's been a most lovely 12 years. Yes, we have done plenty in those years. Lots of activities and running amok, but this is a different season. I realize I am entering into a new span of time. A time of going, exploring and being out in our community. Things are opening up for me personally and us as a family that we have never been apart of in the past. And it's FUN!

Also, we have now been at our current residence for 2 years. We are settled. It feels like home. Oh, dulce domum, such a wonderful place. 

We have friends and with that comes some of life's most terrific blessings:
                   Laughter! 
                           Dinners! 
                                   Encouragement! 
                                           Tears! 
                                                        Conversations full of challenging and sweet words. 
                                               
I realized a couple of months ago that I have a fear of people. I don't really know how that fear got there but now that it has been shown to me, I have the power to deal with it. I am a very transparent person but with people you can get hurt, so there is a vulnerability with relationships that is terrifying. I have been going back and forth with myself and God and a couple close friends about these issues. I have been working out what exactly to do about these feelings. I have been challenged to step out and be a friend. A good friend. The kind of friend that I want. It's tough sometimes! I am such a homebody, I could be home all the time and be happy. But really, when I'm honest with myself, being a part of my community in the small ways I am right now give me great joy also. I am becoming more and more comfortable out in the great, small place I call home. I am not allowing myself to go over and over the stupid things I say when in groups. Really, I am getting over myself and seeing the gold in others. 

You know what I am finding? 

There's a lot of gold. 

I'm rich and loaded down with blessings.

Monday Monday

We are about to enter into our 8th year of homeschooling. I have never been great with school photos. Seems like my head is elsewhere (planning, organizing, cooking breakfast, etc.) but not this year! We are ready! Let the "formal" studying begin.... on Monday. ;)

I sure hope they treasure this time together as much as I do.

Summer Bucket List

Quite a few years ago I made a list of things we wanted to do in the Fall. I made a cute 12 x 12 poster with everything written down and would cross things off as we went. 

I haven't done that since, until this Summer. At the very beginning when things were exciting and there were so many possibilities I scribbled down some ideas on a scrap piece of paper. 

I found that piece of paper yesterday while cleaning up and this is what it included: 

 River    Camp    Berry picking    Stargazing    Campfire   
 Basketball    Volleyball    Small road trip    Birds of   Prey 
 Finish front room    Kitchen    Swimming    Sleepover
   Pizza & Movie     Make jam     Write letters    Zoo    Oregon    Roaring Springs    Date with each child   
      Date with Micheal     Garage sale  

I was surprised we had done so much! It has been a really fun summer! I'm looking forward to finishing off the list! 

We all

Last night. Wow. Can't believe I stayed up until, well, this morning; 3:30.

Had the most amazing conversation with my cousin, best friend and childhood playmate.

We haven't been in touch for years. Actually we were 10 when we last hung out and we are in our 30's now.  If it wasn't for him and his amazing communication skills and huge heart, we probably still wouldn't be talking. I'm terrible in that way.

But he did take the time to connect and I'm so thankful.

As children we were inseparable, playing all summer long in the trees, catching frogs, and the general running amok that kids do. We shared some stories with my own kids last night. Some I hold dear to my heart and some I had forgotten about. My cousin has an amazing memory!

We shared the joys of growing up together, then when the littles had gone to bed we got down to the harder issues. Things we have wanted to talk about for ages, but have not had the chance to, until now.

We all carry burdens. All of us have gone through terrible and beautiful things. Sometimes the terrible are harder to figure out. What exactly did happen? Why? How did you get through it all? Where were you?

We were inseparable for years and then at 10 years old, we no longer saw each other. All of a sudden we were ripped apart and our lives took two very different directions. As a child you just roll with it, not really understanding everything, but going where the adults in your lives place you. We were only a town away but I never saw him. My life was then consumed with basketball, a new best friend, and lots of time with my sister. I honestly never even thought of how his life was and as he shared his story with me last night, I was so ashamed of my shallowness, my lack of thought toward him, my forgetting.

In short I had never thought of his side of the story. I was just whisked away and that was that.
Meanwhile, he was in his own home, dealing with even more darkness, sadness and confusion.

I'm not going to go into mass details for his sake and all of ours for that matter but my heart is heavy at the thought of the burdens we all carry. The things that happen to us and are flung on us or taken away in confusion, and we must all figure out how to deal  and keep going on.

Decisions matter. They do not only affect yourself. Decisions affect all of those around you and most likely a generation after, possibly more.

Sin hurts. But God heals.

I don't think much about what happened all those years ago. I don't dwell on it or feel like it defines me in any way. I truly feel healed from it all. My story is not the same as others though. Some still are reeling from the pain, figuring out how to move on, how to forgive, or maybe just swallowed up by the choices of others and deciding to join in. I have Jesus in my life who has healed me, given me peace and washed all the hurt away as only He can.

But having such a beautiful and heart felt talk with my sweet and strong cousin has made me see things differently and more clearly, which has allowed more healing, more understanding and more love to come into our lives.

I'm so thankful for the gift of humility, love and care that my cousin is to those around him. He truly is an amazing man! I am blessed to have him as a friend again.

God is teaching me sympathy right now. He is showing me things that I couldn't see in the past but are so clear now. He is softening my heart, molding it to look more like His.

I'm so thankful for the people God uses to help me on my journey and I sure hope to be a help to others as well.

In short: be humble, love much, and go the extra mile to connect with someone. You won't regret it. Be the healing balm to someone's life if you can. That's a good choice and we need more of those in this world.

We all carry burdens. We all can love. We all can make this world beautiful.

Choose rightly. It matters.

I have been listening to a lot of Jon Foreman.  He says things better than me.

First Saturday of Spring

After a bit of school this morning, we headed to our picnic spot. Spring is a wild and crazy ride! You just never know what the weather will do. Today was sunny with a touch of warmth. Yeah! We will take it!

Can you spot the little people?

 

Thankful for these days of slow living.  

Saw:

Buttercups

One bumblebee

Elk poop

Pine cones from multiple years

Tree roots

Heard:

Pine cones falling

Buzz of bumblebee

Kids telling stories

Soft breeze

 Chips being crunched ;) 

Felt:

Rough grass

Pokey pine cones

 Sun's warmth

Kisses from the Lovers

Tasted:

Turkey sandwiches

Chips

Tomatoes

Apples

Water

Smelled:

Fresh air

Elk poop 

Not a Fail

This may surprise you, but I see myself as more of an "indoorsy" girl. When I started to learn more about Nature Study, through the Charlotte Mason philosophy of education, I was challenged. But also inspired. 

 We live in a beautiful place. We are surrounded by nature. We literally can open our front door and be on our merry way to seeing, observing, hearing, and feeling all sorts of lovely plants and animals. But really, just about anyone can. 

This morning we woke up late -not surprising!- and my sweet niece was all ready for her first nap. Instead of trying to make all the rest of the kids be quiet, we quickly got our shoes and jackets on and plodded down the road. 

It was slow goings. The little one didn't want to walk. Two others were on bikes and the other two were in their own world playing a game they made up. 

 We weren't observing. 

We weren't listening to the birds. 

We didn't stop and wonder.

One of the kids on a bike rode home by herself. My one pointed question was, "How many earthworms can you find?" They looked for maybe one half of a minute and were then sucked back into their own game. 

BUT, we were outside! We were in nature! We might not have consciously noticed any minute detail, but we weren't inside with our faces zoned in on a screen. And for that I say, "We did not fail." 

This whole nature study thing is becoming a habit. It's getting us in a different atmosphere and changing the rhythm of our lives, and what my brain is thinking about. It's not always idyllic, with us drawing or figuring out the Latin name for lichen, but it is idyllic in the sense of it becoming more of what makes up our days and how it is forming our thoughts of creation and the world we live in. 

I am thankful for nature study. I am thankful for the beauty that this Earth is made of. I am thankful that my kids are still young and we can do this together. 

Remember (mostly talking to myself ;) ), it doesn't have to be perfect to be able to be enjoyed. Taking steps, DOING, is so rewarding. 

We chose adventure

A few nights ago, Micheal and I were talking about our next order of business on our little cabin in the woods and he reminded me that "we chose adventure!" Yes, we did! And this weekend's adventure was putting me to rest by taking a tree down. A huge tree. A huge, dead tree. Right behind our house.

Our house was built with one side basically right up to the side of the hill. While we love the idea of a hobbit sauna, we wanted our home to have a walkway around the whole thing, so naturally we dug it out last Summer. And quickly thereafter, saw that one of the trees was dying. We had chopped apart one of it's main roots. Every time a gust of wind blew, I would lie in bed and fret over that huge tree killing my whole family.

A friend of ours is in the "Hey, I climb trees, and fall them" business, so he and another friend and their two awesome wives came over this weekend and helped us out. 

With boots on and snatch blocks set to go, up the tree he went!

This was super fun and nerve wracking to watch. He cut the limbs off as he went up and the crew would gather them up in a pile. Then he chopped the top 1/3 off and then the rest.

There she goes! He expertly fell the tree in between all the others, missing anything and everything. Truly spectacular to watch!

I am relieved to have this behemoth down and happy to have one cord of wood for next winter already.

This was the beginning of this years home projects. We have SO MUCH to do but are enjoying the process. Next up is a new kitchen!

This week

Outside this week. 

In nature. 

Walks. 

Cleaning the front room. 

Kids making a house. :) 

Jumping in melting snow puddles. 

Finding lichen and realizing it's not moss. 

Finding more lichen! 

Drawing lichen. 

And pine cones. Those are hard! 

Reading Why I Wake Early by Mary Oliver.

Thoroughly enjoying those poems. 

Daughter entering art into an exhibit for kids. 

Selling one of her pieces. 

Playing basketball. 

Piano lessons. 

Cabinet maker came to measure kitchen. 

Cooking dinner with husband while listening to French cafe station on pandora. 

Drinking tea with honey. 

Nap on Sunday afternoon. 

These are the things I am thankful for this week. 

I count them and remember. 

I am humbled by this life filled with such things. 

I am happy. 

No, I am more than that. 

Content. 

Joy overflowing.